Small Little Things

just a brief update

Dec 06, 2024

I’m happy to report that I seem to have evicted the Death Tampons.

e.coli? 0/10 do not recommend.

And in the “not recommended” category: pinched hip nerves that make one of your feet go all numb. This is the second time it’s happened, and while it does seem to mostly go away in a week or two, the fact that it’s happening while I’m sleeping, which, of course, I don’t notice until I try to use said foot for things like, y’know…walking and stuff, means it’s just not something that I’d put on a list titled FUN STUFF I’D LIKE TO DO AGAIN.

With THAT aside:

I’m still plugging away on this.

It’s still the Volume 1 ABC Project game of Aesthetics. These are printable cards, and the game is like a Concentration game, only you have to match three. And the three aren’t the same card: there are three different ones for each aesthetic (setting, costume, and stuff). You have to turn over cards, figure out to which aesthetic they belong, and then remember where those were when you think you know where all three are. If you get it right, you pick up all three cards. If you get it wrong, but your partner knows where the right match is, they pick up all three cards. You play until all the cards are matched, and whomever ends up with the most cards at the end is the winner.

It’s like being in third grade again, but with the difficulty ratcheted up to 11.

Also, despite creating this game, I would lose spectacularly against almost any opponent, because I have the memory of an overly exhausted goldfish.

I’m having fun, though, even if it’s taking way longer than the 7 days I gave myself to complete it. This first round’s about testing timetables and such anyway, so I’m not really late. Ahem.

And then there was THIS this morning:

Most of the furry interlopers. And said Emergency Mud Rug that we deploy from late fall to late spring, to try and keep at least *some* of the back yard from grinding itself into the carpet.

Sorry for the blurry photo; these two were in constant motion. Literally.

This is at the edge of my kitchen, where dog paws had left a strikingly large amount of dirt and muddy streaks, and the toys had obviously exploded on the Emergency Mud Rug™. (They do that from time to time. Porkchop claims ignorance and innocence. He’s lying about both.)

You’ll note those are two furry bodies who have just come in from the back yard.

You’ll also note that I do not have two dogs.

This is not my dog, but this is my back step. This is just before she smashed herself into my legs and started licking my hands, because obviously she would be okay with staying here forever.

There was an extra in my living room, covered in mud from the chest down, who had apparently translocated herself magically through the back fence to come play with my dog. I do not know this dog. Porkchop, however, LOVES this dog. In all-caps. LOVES.

They played in the back yard for a good 30 minutes while I tried to figure out what to do. They’d zoomie around the yard, run into each other, roll over and do the dog play-bow, and set off for more zoomies. Every so often, they’d stop and nuzzle each other or come inside to get pets and love from me.

This is interesting on two fronts:

How did this lady get into my (closed-fenced yard and locked gate) and who is she? and
Why is my dog, who doesn’t like almost any other dogs, acting like she’s his new lady love and Mom, who?

I sent J a video of them playing in the living room and knocking everything over with me saying, “excuse me ma’am, but who are you and why are you in my house?”, and he was all OH I SEE WE HAVE TWO DOGS NOW.

Not helping, O Man I Married.

This is when they were plum tuckered out from a whole skirmish at the Zoomie Olympics. After she shipped herself to France or wherever, Oliver has been sleeping as if he is an actual rock. Clearly, he needs more playdates with dogs he does not, in fact, wish to eat.

The ending of that story is just the beginning of Chapter Two of her adventures, though.

After about 45 minutes-ish of this abject chaos, I finally got Ollie inside and opened the gate for his girlfriend, to see if she wanted to go home. She trotted off with purpose toward a house two or three houses down that has a front yard fence. There’s usually a dog or two in that yard, and Lady Dog walked up to it and SPRANG over the four-foot fence like it was nothing at all, and flopped down with the two little ones like she belonged there.

That answered how she got into my back yard, and I figured that was the end of the story.

But no.

A few minutes later, I saw her walk by the front of the house, again with purpose….right around the time the UPS delivery lady (who is also Porkchop’s friend, for the record) pulled up to a house on the corner and plodded up toward the porch. As soon as the UPS lady was distracted, Ladydog hopped right into the truck and disappeared inside.

I tried to get my shoes on, but the aforementioned pinched nerve made that slower than intended, and before I could yell over to warn her, the UPS truck drove off.

With ladydog still inside.

I’m thinking that someone is going to get a surprise delivery in a stop or two. And that someone will probably be the UPS deliveryperson.

Hooboy.